for grandma

there are a few things in life that we know will always be there.  there will always be love, youth, faith.  there will always be pain, suffering, death.  nothing in this world is ever perfect.  it may be beautiful, but is not perfect.  my grandmother on my dad's side of the family passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning.  no one saw it coming, no one really got to say goodbye.  I know she is finally complete, finally without pain, finally enjoying the presence of God.  that doesn't mean I am capable of imagining holiday dinners without her, or seeing my grandpa living alone in their house.  I wish I had known her better.  while I only saw her once or twice a year, I learned a lot from her.  she was one of the strongest, most loving women I've ever met.

in 2004, grandma lectia was diagnosed with breast cancer.  she fought her battle valiantly, never complained, never saw the darkness in the cancer.  it hadn't been long before that that she gave her life to Christ.  I remember writing her a letter about Jesus one time.  I don't remember how old I was, but I remember writing it.  her faith in Him was inspiring.  despite the hardships she faced with her cancer and the frustrations of the family, she never wavered.  after many chemo treatments and other pains, she finally went into remission and her breast cancer was cured. 

all throughout her life, grandma always took care of everyone.  she made everyone's beds in the mornings and turned them down before bedtime every night.  she made breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and cleaned the kitchen by herself.  every time we went to visit, we would get in somewhere around 3 a.m. and she would always get out of bed (if she hadn't waited up) to greet us and promptly shove leftovers in our faces.  we would always get these huge plates of food and she would sit with us and talk while we ate.  "Sarah," (or surruh, as she pronounced it) she would always say, "you need to get a little bit more meat on them bones!" and then she would put a piece of cake or whatever had been for dessert on my plate.  she was the one who brought the family together.  she disspelled the tension that would inevitably come when all five siblings and the unnumerable grandchildren were present.  she put up with grandpa and his crankiness.  she held everything and everyone together.  she went to church by herself almost every sunday, but she always went.  and she loved everyone despite their many, many faults.

 you will be missed.  but I know you are where you've always longed to be, where your heart is most satisfied.  I love you, grandma.