rain.

it's raining today.  rain makes me want to do a lot of things.  it makes me want to sit in my room with a big sweatshirt and fuzzy socks on and listen to chill, acoustic music and write (which is what I'm doing).  it makes me want to paint.  it makes me want to wrap a big blanket around myself and watch a sweet movie.  it makes me want to nap. 

life is so weird sometimes, the way that it happens.  one thing happens in order for something else to happen.  you meet one person in order to meet someone else.  I do a lot of life thinking and planning.  but not in the way that you might think - you know, like the big events and decisions.  no, instead I think and plan the silly little moments that make up a day, thinking that there will someday be one little moment that will change everything in life.  John Lennon once said that "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."  I'm guilty of missing out on life because I spend all my time thinking about what I want to happen.  most of my plans don't even come to fruition anyway.  and I know this.  and yet I continue to live like this.  if you can even call it living. 

today, it stops.  or starts to stop.  it will be a slow, continuous process, learning how to exist without constant planning.  but I will learn; I will live more fully.  there's this book that is teaching me all these things.  it's called 'Cold Tangerines' by Shauna Niequist.  it is about celebrating life - celebrating all the little moments that we do not plan, that culminate into a life well-lived.  thus far it is a fabulous little book.  I'm sure there will be many more life lessons to be learned from it and I can't wait.