chaos theory

today has been one of those rare days that you get in college sometimes - I didn't have to go to the first two of my three monday classes. it was bliss. I had a few extra hours to do absolutely nothing, so what did I do but, like any other college student, pull up my mom's netflix account to watch a movie.  I had found this movie called Chaos Theory a few days ago in my netflix browsing.  all I needed to know about it was that it starred ryan reynolds and was a romantic comedy.  perfect for today.  except that it was hardly what I was expecting.  seriously, romantic comedy is the entirely wrong genre to throw it in. where do I begin?  I suppose by telling you that if you really want to understand any of this post, go watch it.  it is well worth your time.  (and ladies: ryan reynolds...what more needs to be said?)  because I refuse to waste space by explaining to you the plot, here's a good summary: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460745/.
essentially, it was one of those movies that awakens nearly every emotion you have. one of those movies that makes you want to yell at the screen because things aren't going the way you know they should.  it made me angry, made me laugh, made me (almost) cry, made me realize the complexity and depth of lfe. at least that's how I felt, anyway.  maybe it was just because I was entirely ready to feel all those emotions again, you know, those ones that have been escaping me so much as of late.  whatever the reason, I felt them.  and it felt so good. there's something about emotions, the way they bind you to the rest of the human race.  when I am at a shallow emotion point, I have a hard time relating to people; but when I'm emotionally awake, I can feel other's emotions well again.  it's funny what a movie, a movie you expected to be silly and quite nearly pointless, can do to you.  but I feel like life is at it's best when it's completely unexpected.

when life is expected, when you act in a premeditated, expected way, there will never be any surprises.  that sounds too obvious to write, but that thought rarely occurs to me when I'm living my predictable life.  I want to be less predictable, I want to do what I feel is right, not what I've rationalized out and determined to be right.  I feel like life is more full when we don't do what everyone assumes we are going to do.  the chaotic life is the beautiful life.

today's to do list: be unexpected.