yoga, world, peace, sanity

"find your center"

"quiet your mind"

"focus inward"

these are the sorts of things my yoga instructor tells us as she walks among the twenty or so yoga mats during class. these are the things that become a huge hurdle for a girl who is always wondering what is going to happen later tonight or tomorrow or in a month, a girl who is always trying to figure out how she feels, a girl whose thoughts change direction about as quickly and as often as the amount on the national debt clock goes up. for me, yoga is a challenge both mentally and physically. the physical challenge is fun because each class I notice that I can get a little bit deeper into the positions.  the mental challenge is...frustrating. I want to be able to turn my brain off. I want to be able to meditate on God. I want to be able to just focus on my breathing and let my spirit have some chill time. but it is seriously so hard. I'm continually fighting myself throughout class to get back on track. it never lasts. but when I do achieve quietness for just a few minutes, it is a beautiful thing. and the challenge and frustration is totally worth those few minutes of inner peace.
these are some of the things I like best about yoga:
1. there is no one to talk to. talking is strictly forbidden. and while my friend and I will sneak glances at each other or make sound effects when we're trying a new posture, I still feel like I'm alone. but it's the good kind of solitude. the kind everybody needs every now and then.
2. there is no one to impress - in my class at least. I'm in a beginner class, so everyone (except this one girl who seriously rocks at yoga) looks equally ridiculous when we do new postures.
3. I control it. the instructor tells us what poses to do when and reminds us to breathe and focus, but I control how far I take a posture, I control how deep inside myself I go.
4. as trippy as it may sound, I feel like I'm a tiny but vital part of this huge, beautiful world when I practice yoga. to be cliche, I feel one with the world. cynics make fun of people who say those sorts of things, but if you're a cynic, you should know that you're missing out on a pretty fabulous feeling.
5. yoga is all about balance. but it's bigger than just being able to keep yourself up. it's about balance within and without. balance in your mind, balance between your spirit and your body, balance on your legs (or arms, or head), balance in your spiritual life. I am a very, very unbalanced woman, so I'm attracted to this concept of balance. it's something I'm working on.
6. I walk out of every class feeling energized and fresh and at peace. I'm awakened to the brightness of the sun and the breeze that plays with my hair  and the goodness of life. I'm able to take my mind off of my problems and the things I have to get done and just enjoy what I've been given, the beautiful world I live in, the fabulous people in my life, the love God shows me every minute through all these things. it's definitely one of the best feelings ever.

life is going by at this insane speed. I feel sometimes like I'm just standing there and people, places, activities, they're all rushing past me. I look down at my feet for a second and look right back up and a month has passed by. yoga makes me slow down, makes my whole world slow down, for at least the hour and a half that I'm in class. it makes me realize how beautiful and important each tiny thing is - each minute, each day, each person, each life. yoga lends sanity to a very crazy life.

down time

so I'm home for spring break. roughly translated, this means the first bit of down time I've had since I got back to school in January. down time equals sleeping for thirteen hours at a time, eating exorbitant amounts of food, making a trip to barnes & noble, and thinking about the fact that I haven't written a creative word in like a month. that is terrible.  so, to get myself back into the swing of things, I decided to write a short, fun post. I don't do many of those, so I figure this is a good way to test the waters before I jump back in.  so I'll sit back and listen to Harry Connick Jr. and Ella Fitzgerald and the like (because I can) and write a bit about myself.

I love to eat good food. and I love eating in funky environments. local places are the absolute BEST. my family just moved to austin, texas and I think my favorite thing has been trying out all these eclectic, little austinite food joints. the people are chill and cool, the decor is funky, and the food...is so, so good.

I love witty people. I think it is because I wish I was witty, so I enjoy getting to witness truly witty people being witty. and I like to laugh, and witty people like being laughed at.

I don't like acting like a grown up. but I like dressing like one.

I love emotions. I think they are beautiful. and I think it is important to feel them. I think that is the one bit of advice I find myself giving over and over again, embrace your emotions, good and bad. because emotion, to me, means passion. and where would we be without passion? think about all the passionate people you know of. what would this world be missing out on if they were content with apathetically sitting on their couches, oblivious to what was going on outside their houses? movements begin with one person. but that one person has to have a dream, a desire to do something. I don't know how to explain how I feel to people who aren't predisposed to feel the same way. we all have to come to terms with ourselves and our emotions are a huge part of who we are.

yoga is my most favorite recent discovery. I'm currently taking a class and getting course credit for it and I have fallen in love. I remember all the things I read about yoga and its spiritual implications and all that jazz, but you really can't understand it until you do it. there is just something about quieting my mind for an hour and a half, focusing on who I am and what I'm doing and why I'm even on this earth. you can make yoga as spiritual or physical as you want. I prefer a perfect blend of the two - I put my mind to work meditating on Christ (as much as I can make myself focus, which is a huge feat for my short attention span and overactive brain) and I put my body to work practicing postures, digging deeper each day, seeing how far I can take a posture, depending on my core to keep me up. it's really fun and challenging. I walk out of each class with this invigorating sort of peace, it's like being at peace, but at the same time being energized and ready to do something. I like it a lot.

ehh, I think that's enough for tonight. goodnight, world.